My life and stress

My exams seem to be going okay. James hasnt really started his. I am going to miss him when he goes.
But must think about something else.
Wasn't Doctor Who Good yesterday. And Captain Jack is coming back. Yummy!

Thursday night. We met up and had something to eat. We were having a good chat about this and that. He knows I am gay but I was never sure about him.
I told him I fancied him.
I suppose I should be grateful about his reaction.
He said he didnt feel the same way back because he bats for the other side. But he was flattered and still was OK with everything. He talked about girlfriends so I guess now I know.
And now I feel such an idiot. Why did I say anything? Aaaaargh!!!!!

So I am of out in a moment. Tonights the big night.

... but James and I have arranged to go out for something to eat tomorrow night.

It's the closest we have come.

Mustn't read too much into it.

GOD he's gorgeous!

James came up to me today and we had a good chat. And he asked if we could go out either Thursday or Friday.

What did I say? YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! of course.

But we'll have to wait and see if it actually happens.

I dream of a kiss you know, but I may jumping several steps ahead there!

Im on study leave and I am (or I should be) revising hard.
That date never happened. Neither did the one we arranged for mid-week. We were going to go out Thursday night- but he had an accident Wednesday and has his leg in plaster. So he would even throw himself down the stairs and break his leg than go out with me

Maybe it will happen, maybe it wont. But I am running tou of time (in that respect) or perhaps I shouldnt worry about it.

Except when he smiles I melt!

Sorry for not being around too much, all this exam work is piling up.

James still smiles at me as if there was somthing more. I can't help but wonder (or is it my desires wanting too much). We never got round to going out, but he did text me this weekend. We may go out next Saturday. He kind of suggested next Saturdaym but we have made arrangements before without them going anywhere.

Perhaps I should give up..... but he is sooo gorgeous. Just looking into his blue eyes makes my knees weak!

I have been a bit low this week. I've been trying hard not to show it at school, but the inevitable has happened... kind of.
James knows I fancy him (I think) and he has kind of let on that he does NOT feel the same way. Just the things he says. But he still wants to be friends
I suppose I should be happy, that he wants to be friends but I can't make him like me.

So now I feel sad and lovesick.

Does anyone have a love potion?

... who is looking forward to going back to school?

I wonder why.

Must be the eye candy

I had a dream last night and James was in it. I was waiting for him to come over, and for some reason my other friends were in my living room practising in a band (which they never had before) and James came over to collect a photograph that I had mounted for him, and as we left the house together I tried to get him alone. Except all my other friends kept coming over and talking to us, so I couldn't speak to him. I did eventually and I asked him out again, and his reply was.....
"I have been thinking about it and I would like to but I have this life plan, where I go to universtiy, get a degree and {some kind of } high paid job and I don't think there is going to be any time for us"
"Oh I said" and let him go.

I bet that says LOT about me!!!

He didn't text back yet.