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I want the ground to swallow me up
by schoolboycrush @ 2007-05-26 - 09:34:35

Thursday night. We met up and had something to eat. We were having a good chat about this and that. He knows I am gay but I was never sure about him.
I told him I fancied him.
I suppose I should be grateful about his reaction.
He said he didnt feel the same way back because he bats for the other side. But he was flattered and still was OK with everything. He talked about girlfriends so I guess now I know.
And now I feel such an idiot. Why did I say anything? Aaaaargh!!!!!

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antlady69antlady69 pro
http://www.antmusic-forever.blog.co.uk
2007-05-29 @ 10:11

Why shouldn't you have said anything? You did the only right thing: you addressed the issue. Congrats on your bravery!

But now you know for sure he's "straight". And he has no problem with you being gay or being fancied by you - why are you having a problem with the evening then? I mean, apart from the obvious, that you two will not have a partnership.

No, don't beat yourself up over anything. It appears you two are still friends - and you can still dream about him... ;)

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schoolboycrushschoolboycrush [Member]
2007-05-29 @ 11:27

Thanks for the comment. I just felt really embarrassed by it. I know I shouldnt. Hopefully he will keep in touch when he goes to Uni (Scotland!)

And the dreams.... oh yes, the dreams :))

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sappedsapped [Member]
2007-05-29 @ 11:07

He sounds incredibly mature. I'm trying to think of any guys I knew at sixth form who would have responded to a guy fancying them by saying they were flattered, and being ok with it. Hopefully you'll have managed to make a really good friend out of this, even if you do still fancy the pants off him! You never know who's around the corner ;)

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schoolboycrushschoolboycrush [Member]
2007-05-29 @ 11:29

And now I know. And he will be going away soon, so I won't have him there all the time, oozing gorgeousness. I have told him I am going to miss him, I hope he will miss me a bit too.

So I am now officially

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sappedsapped [Member]
2007-05-29 @ 11:32

...officially...?

Fingers crossed you find another wonderful guy :)

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paulboydpaulboyd [Member]
http://www.pbmusicals.com
2007-05-30 @ 15:01

Well done for handling the situation so well. And I take my hat off to your friend who dealt with the whole so maturely - never forget that he knew you were gay and still actively sought to take you out. That makes him pretty cool, actually.

And something else you may have learnt - the cool straight men find it a big compliment to be fancied by a gay friend. Sure, they can attract the girls (and it sounds like your friend has already been doing that) but it's something special to realise that you're attractive to the same sex too. You did his ego no end of good.

I can't speak highly enough of this guy. Like Sapped, I can't think of a single guy who would've coped so well had the same thing happened in my sixth form class. He's a good spud, and you should be proud of the friendship you have with him. So there's no need to feel shame or embarrassment - you told the truth, he told the truth and neither of you ran out of the place screaming.

And now you know for sure. You have a good friend and long, long life ahead of you. Get out there and grab it with both hands.

X

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schoolboycrushschoolboycrush [Member]
2007-06-10 @ 11:50

Thanks for the comment. I really want to grab it with both hands, but he tells me he doesnt swing that way. ;)

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tobsonhelsinkitobsonhelsinki pro
2007-06-10 @ 11:53

Oh dear, been there, done that. It was so awfully frightening back then, and it hurt so much afterwards. Even when they stayed friendly. (Or when they ran back to their old girlfriends just out of fear.)
It will get better with time, though. That's maybe not much of a comfort now, but it will.

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schoolboycrushschoolboycrush [Member]
2007-06-10 @ 11:54

Thanks for the comment. It only hurst becaue I like him so much. But I am lucky that he didnt run a mile or go and spread stories- that could have been difficult.
And next year, when he's gone..... perhaps someone hotter will come along.

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tobsonhelsinkitobsonhelsinki pro
2007-06-10 @ 11:57

Of course there will be better and hotter ones. That will be interested, also.
You're an excellent writer, by the way! Very good blog all along.

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