I dont know if this counts as good news or bad news but I told him I was Gay today. He didnt run a mile. We just carried on chatting.

Even after that encouragin week, we still haven't arranged a date. I don't want to press it, but I do feel more able that I can now without worrying too much if I am barking up the wrong tree.

And there is the party next weekend....

Today I had to speak to James about something school related. At the end of the short conversation he said "We never got chance to go out for that coffee, we really must." so I said "Are you sure, because I didn't want to be too.. you know"
"No, dont worry about that. t's just that I ahve been busy" Which he has- very busy boy
"Well, let me know. I'll look forward to it" I said
And then he smiled at me and wished me a good day.

And I was smiling for the rest of the day.

Its Wednesday.
On Monday I went back to school and I decided that perhaps I made too much of a fool of myself last half term and that this half term I was gonna sit back and do nothing. And for the past two days I didnt even see him.
But today he smailed at me and said good morning and my heart melted again and all those wants came back just as strong. He makes me go weak in the knees and he doesnt know
Perhaps he never will
Or maybe this is the half term when it will all fall in to place..... after all, what are the chances of snow again????

... tomorrow.

I wonder what this half term will hold.

Or I will hold?

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was at home with my family and I hadn't noticed that I had missed two clls on my phone, and it was James phoning. And on the last day of half term I had given him my phone number (which I hadnt) and he was calling to arrange a date. And I told him that I was worried that I was being too forward and he said "I did think you were to begin with but then I thought why not". And we arranged a date.

But that was a dream, and at the moment I am at home at half term not doing much, wondering where he is- he did tell me he was going away to Germany for the week.

My school shut, the evening event is cancelled. I should be happy

I have some news. Okay it might not come to anything but it's a start. When I saw him today we chatted and I asked if he ws going to be staying around after school tomorrow night. We have this sixth fom event that we have to stay for bu it doesnt start until 7. And he said he was and he suggested that perhaps we could go for a coffee, if there's time

Okay so it is just a coffee and it may not come to anything and it may not even happen, but its a step forward from before.
As long as the school doesnt bloody close due to snow. I think it will be the first time I have prayed for a school not to close.

Yesterday I saw him in the corridor and we smiled at each other and I decided to pluck up the courage and I asked "That thing we talked about a couple of weeks ago, are you stil up for it?"
"Yeah sure!" he said "Have you see blood diamond?" unfortunately I had so we chatted about that for a moment and then he said "Well I'll have a root around and see what else is coming out" and then we parted.
Later we chatted about other things and he still smiles at me. But we still havent organised a 'thing'
SO I guess its back to waiting....