My life and stress

IT didnt happen. We didnt sit together

But we did have a chatette.
I think Im going to have to build up the courage to bring it up again. You know, in a casual 'you still up for going out' way. It cant hurt can it?

I will do it this week

Everyday I think I will say something. Ask whether he still wants to come out. But I don't. The longer I leave it, the more I think I will not have the guts to, which would be a shame.
But we talk and he still smiles at me and thats nice. Tomorrow we go on a course (all the 6th form have to go) and maybe I will sit next to him and maybe I will say something.

Oh Help!

I'm still none the wiser.

Today I bought for lunch a sausage in a french bread roll. The sausage was dry and long and really quite salty. The breadstick was also dry- no butter or mustard or ketchup! It took ages for me to devour it. However whilst I was eating it, James walked into the lunch room. He smiled at me and I got a little bit flustered, the only thing I could think of to say was "Look at this sausage, how are you suppsed to get through this" How embarrassing is that. We did have a brief conversation about food then. It was nice to chat even if it was about nothing really. I've not pushed the going out issue- trying to keep cool about it (Even though it is driving me mad). But it nice to talk to him. He has the brightest blue eyes

He's been busy today so he's not spoken to me.
But I think I will wait and see if he approaches me. THis is so hard, I keep feeling like all I am doing is following him around- (PS I'm not)
I want something to happen, but I dont want to appear desperate. He still smiles at me, he kept looking at me in the assembly on Friday (with that sparkle in his eye) but then he doesnt talk to me. I dont know.

It's SOOOOOOO hard.
I am trying to talk to other people. Perhaps he will get jealous?

Today I didnt see him til the end of the day. He was talking to someone else as I left the building, but he did give me a little wave.

today I was blanked

AAARRGHH WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I broahced the subject. "Would you like to go out sometime"
And I am not sure about the reaction.
He look surprised and a bit shocked. "Yeah. OK" was his reply. "I must check my diary because the next few weeks are hectic!"

That's not a no. But I'm not sure what that is.

At some point this week I am going to test the waters....

"Fancy a date?"

Gulp

We have been talking on and off, mostly instigated by me. The chats have been pleasant- but I wonder if we are going to enter that friends zone. You know, after a while we are too friendly to take it beyond. (Listen to me. I'm talking as if there was going to be a chance of something more)

I wish he wasnt so god damn gorgeous and I wish that he didnt make my knees weak when he smiles at me and I wish I didnt melt when he smiled at me and I wish I didnt think about him all the god damn time.

. looking at me. WHen we were in assembly. You know how it is when you look at someone and you see them looking at you but then they turn away becuase they have been found out. (I know, I have done it a few times myself) Well, when I looked at him (I know, I'm doing it too) he was looking at me then in that split second turned away like he didnt want to be seen looking.

I am sure of it

I think

I really like this show. Last year's was fabulous.

But was I the only one disappointed with the new intake? Surely it will only really be a celebrity big brother when every one goes in there and no-one has to introduce themselves

Went OK. Still have loads of work to do, but no exams to revise for this January.
I spent some time with James this afternoon chatting about the holiday. His smile really makes me glow inside. It is soooo nice.
But I should do what my tag says and take it slow. If he really likes me, and I get the impression he does (or is it wishful thinking?) then it will happen in time. If not, I may just explode.

And I have that party to look forward to in February.

God he's gorgeous!

Tomorrow.

I will get to see him again