Today he walked past me and gave me hat warm smile with the wild eyes that I love so much. It made me feel warm and, even though we didn't spea, it made me happy for the rest of the day.

What a chicken I am. I wanted so much to start a conversation, but I get all tongue tied and nervous. I am so sure that it shows that I fancy him. And I keep thinking that he likes me, but he doesn't smile at me in the same way anymore. Or am I just imagining it?

Maybe I will try again tomorrow.... maybe

Tomorrow is Monday.
I am going to be proactive. I am going to start a conversation and see where it goes.
Positive Mental attitude and all that.

What harm can it do, after all it's just talking

Ho hum

Anyone else out there feeling a bit lonely?

Another Friday, not seeing him. I think he is avoiding me

Another Friday night at home with mum, who is having a hard time. She doesn't need to know my problems

Another Weekend. Feeling Alone. Feeling crushed.

I went up beside him today and said good morning.
"good morning, how are you?" he replied
"Not too bad" I said. Then he walked off.

I hate the way I am feeling. I hang around the corridor hoping to see him. I keep thinking it seems so obvious, that he must be avoiding me. Grrrr. I dont want to feel like this

James came into my form room today. He wanted to speak to someone else, but he smiled at me and said hello.

WE then took the Mickey out of Louise's Stripey socks.
Just the fact that we spoke and had a laugh, made me warm inside. Now I want it to happen more and more. But Ican't go speak to him because he is more popular and everyone wants a piece of him.

All the girls love him, but I hope it's not the girls he likes

Monday.

I spend all weekend looking forward to coming in to see him.... and he wasn't in today. Why does it afect me so ......

It's Sunday night evening. I haven't really done much this weekend. Managed to do my Homework, but not gone out. I can't help it. ALl I want to do is sit up in my room. Why is it that all I can think about is him.

My Mumhas been crying too. My Brothers girlfriend has been upsetting her again. I think my mum just wanted to help out with the pregnancy (I.e. give a bit of advice. My mum does good advice well) but she (Brother GF) was very firm in her reply. "Butt OUT", to paraphrase.

I haven't told my mum that I fancy this boy. It's not that I think she will be shocked (Gay son OMG) but I think it will be more grief than it's worth.

Oh dear, Someone come and take me away from all this. A handsome knght on a charger. JAmes are you listening?

Today I signed up to go on a theatre trip in December. I like going to the theatre, but I wan't going to bother with this one until I saw that James had signed up to go too. Who knows, he may even sit next to me.

Today he walked right past me as if I wasn't there. Then he sat with someone else and chatted to them. And I felt so bad, so sick, so jealous??? All I wanted was for him to come and sit by me or even say hello, or even smile at me because his smiles make me warm.

At one point I had to leave the common room because my mind was too distracted. I needed to be doing something else.

I keep staring out of the window in the vain hope that he will pass by, look in and smile.

Anything for that smile.

I don't speak to many people. One person who does speak to me is Kelly. She is a nice girl, but she does smell a bit like wee.

Why am I thinking about him? I felt so sick this morning, I didn't want to go to school- and yet I really wanted to.

I keep staring out of the windows at school in case I see him

We had a conversation today. He thanked me for coming to the party and asked if I had a good time. He said there will be another one in February. Was that an invitation? or just chat? And do I have to wait until February to see him again outside of school?

I keep replaying the conversation over again in my mind hoping that I missed some secret code that shows he is interested. But the more I try to remember, the more I forget.

He smiled at me this afternoon. I smiled back. He has such warmth in his smile, but he is warm to everyone. I have a warm feeling now. I hope he smiles at me again tomorrow.

My mums been upset. It's my brothers girlfriend causing her grief. They dont get on and she's pregnant (My brothers girlfriend, not my mum- that would NOT be good)

So I try to stay in my room.

I wish he was here. He has the nicest eyes, they make me melt

I started the school in September. He is in the year abive me but I noticed him straight away. We have chatted once or twice but I cherish those conversations, trying to remember each word.

He gave me directions to the party. And when we were there it was so nice. We were dancing. Not together but at the same time. Sometimes I think that he danced my way, but now I'm not so sure.

he is very popular. Everyone seems to like him. All the girls anyway. I want him to like me

I am writing this diary because of things that I am going through. I think I have a crush on someone at school and it is difficult to deal with.

On Friday I went out to a party and this boy was there, and we had such a good time, but today at school he ignored me. I was sure that we were getting on well on Friday. I have been happy all weekend and I was looking forward to seeing him. But he never said anything to me and now I feel like my gut is being torn in two.